Saturday, December 28, 2013

Love and Loss

Well, I really am still alive and do creep on others people's blogs just not on my own. MUST.DO.BETTER.IN.2014!!

This year has gone by in a whirlwind and I am vowing to keep records of 2014 much more!
I have struggled to write this blog for awhile, but I know for healing and my forgetfulness I need to do it, so here goes...

In October, Mike and I took our annual trip to Austin for ACL fest.  This year we were lucky enough to be joined by lots of our friends!!  The highlight for me this year was the band lineup.  I mean who can not get excited about Lionel Richie as a headliner!
Now usually on these trips my OCD, nervous Nellie, personality is in overdrive.  For some reason this year it wasn't.  Mike and I had a blast like a couple of teenagers!

Fast forward to the next weekend, where this lady slept for maybe like 23 hours out of everyday for an entire weekend.  I chalked it up to a SUPER great vacation!
The following week all was back to normal, rested and ready to rock the week.  Several weeks passed and I was beginning to wonder where was Aunt Flow and her monthly visit.  Not real unusual, the older I get the more unpredictable she can be!

Ok, so 10 days after my missed period on a Monday evening I mentioned it to Mike over making dinner.  He went into superhero mode and basically flew to Kroger.  He came back and I swore I would take it the following morning.  HA!  Like either one of us could wait that long, so I rush to the bathroom while the boys were watching TV.
Not kidding....I could not even finish my tinkle before that plastic stick screamed POSITIVE!  
If you know me, you know it takes a little science and planning to conceive, not a weekend of Lionel Richie indulgence, people!

Well there it was, PREGNANT!  Holding my vomit in I called Mike to the bathroom and began to weep uncontrollably.  Mike basically did what any normal husband would do and asked if I wanted to phone a friend as he backed his body into a corner in a defensive stance!  We have been trying, but not really trying for over 2 years.  We had both decided that it wasn't in the cards and we would be content as a family of 3!

OK, so 2 phone calls to friends to cry, laugh, and freak out...  oh and 1 to my pharmacist friend to check on allergy meds I was taking...

Life went on.  I was sick, beyond tired, and scared.  
Went in for my first appointment which they deemed me not quite pregnant according to the sonogram, but preggo according to my urine.  3 weeks later, 2 extra blood draws,  and my increased HcG levels showed that NOW I was "pregnant". Sent home with anti-nausea pills and some high powered pre-natals. Best part was:  due July 1st, a teachers worst nightmare!

We did get some cool sono pics of the baby blob so we rushed to show my sister and later that weekend to share with our parents.  Shared the news with Lucas at a fancy Taco Casa dinner.  He was beyond jazzed to be a BIG BRO! 

For 11 weeks Mike Woods was my night in shining armour.  He did everything while I pretended to not be pregnant and not vomit on anyone!  Laundry, cooking, baths, school work, guitar lessons were all on his plate.  What a man!

The night of Justin Timberlake my bestie Amanda took our family photo for our Christmas cards this year.  We could not wait to break the news this way to all our friends and family.

Then ICE-A-PALOOZA 2013 happened.  That week I started feeling better, like a million times better.  More energy, desire to eat, even did some sledding down the driveway!!!
I had an appointment on Tuesday, December 10th.  Mike was at work, so Luke and I would just meet him there.  Routine appointment.  First time for Luke to go with us and hear the heartbeat.  As luck would have it, Mike was stuck in traffic, so I told him no worries about coming with us.  Should be a quick and easy appt.  
Famous last words...
We settled into a room and the nurse asked the normal questions, told her I was feeling great, over the "hump" I felt like.
She grabbed the doppler and showed Luke how to voice record for Dad to hear.  She could not find the heartbeat.  No biggie, another nurse tried, she could not find the heartbeat.
The doc tried and again no heartbeat.  He assured me that the baby was still very small, so we would just do a sono to get a better look!
I was still not worried, more excited to see the baby again:)
We waited for the room to be prepped and for some reason, as the lady in front of me came out of the sono room crying, I knew something wasn't right.  I'm not really into reading energy but the room felt heavy.  I just wanted to fan the bad air out before I went in, too late...

Luke had a front row shot of the screen.   Having 2 sonos already I knew the heartbeat was always the first thing you see. 
I did not see it, only black.  Like, the worst black color you could imagine.  I quietly started to cry as the doc played with angles.  He then quickly asked a nurse to take brother out.  I then loudly wept.  He saw a baby that never grew beyond 8 weeks, with a head, arm and leg buds developed, but no heartbeat.  I never looked at the screen again.  The rest of the appointment was a haze.  They scheduled a D and C for the next day.  He did not want this miscarriage to proceed on its own. 

I knew I had to get it together for my big boy in the next room.  I sat next to Luke and asked if he knew what had happened.  He said the baby didn't have a heartbeat but it would grow one, right?  God, how I wished it were that simple.
I told him in the best terms I could, heck I didn't even know what was happening and that sweet boy looked at me and said its ok mom, you just have a dead baby in your belly.  Well, yep that about summed it up.  Weirdly, those words have comforted me.  They have helped me not long for something that was no longer mine.
On the way home we both cried a little in the car.  He and I both longing for something we would not get.  He told Mike and me he was sad to not be a big brother.  We cried for that too.

The next day went much better than I ever expected.  The peeps at Baylor All Saints are rock stars. Every person I encountered was so apologetic and assuring, even briefly sharing their stories of loss.  I strangely felt a sense of sisterhood.  
I took the rest of the week off and then finished up the last week before Christmas break. The week back at work was the best medicine anyone could have prescribed.  My school family and team rocked and held my hand and loved me anyway I needed.
  My post op appointment on Christmas Eve went great!  The hardest part was sitting back in the same waiting room with LOTS of pregnant ladies.  My thoughts wanted to turn to anger, but I keep fighting that urge.  We left, thankful for promising news and a sense of hope!

I told Mike that anytime you are faced with tragedy you should take away a lesson.  This taught me about humility and love.  I take pregnancy and having babies way too carelessly.  I take my husband for granted.  I take my precious boy I already have for granted.  This has showed me to love more and laugh more, and enjoy life more.  My love for my husband, son, family, and friends has filled my heart during a dark time.  Knowing they have my back and are praying for me, even when I don't ask gives me comfort beyond measure.
Thank you for listening.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Playing Hookie!

I planned a little surprise hookie day for Luke.  The night before we went to the Ranger game and I knew we would be getting home late, so I planned for the 3 of us to have a hookie day on Friday! 
Luke had no idea where we were taking him...
The Sea Life Aquarium

This is the aquarium inside Grapevine Mills Mall.  Earlier in the year we went on a first grade field trip and the kids loved it!  I knew the aquarium would be a ghost town if we could go during the week and  I knew they had scheduled feeding throughout the day so we planned to be there for those!  It was a seahorse feeding day and you should have seen all the baby seahorses eating.  Some were no bigger than the food.  We also bought back stage passes.  This was the best money spent by far!
We got a personal tour of all the aquarium tanks and we were able to see the sea animals from a whole new perspective.  They shared some interesting stories about the animals.  We got to see where they feed them and make their food daily.  The coolest part was getting to see the 2 sea turtles they had recently rescued and learning their amazing story.  I'm bummed I don't have pictures of those 2 guys, but I was really busy crying over their sad stories and asking a million questions to the marine biologist!  Mike and I were in nerd heaven, Luke was a little bored and probably a tad bit embarrassed!

Never a dull moment!

Luke is not the only one who loves a good photo opportunity!  Here is what shenanigans I have been up to...
 Having a little Longhorn moment at Kindergarten registration!
Channeling my inner Praying Mantis at recess!

No big deal-it's just a CYST!

I always struggle at the beginning of Spring with my face.  It always has a freak out on me!  I usually blame it on the end of the school year stress, some poor eating, and my increased sweat glands when it gets this humid.  Well, just like in years past, my face began to freak out at the beginning of May.  I knew this meant a trip to the Dermatologist, but still hesitated...
One Sunday we took Luke to a birthday party at a trampoline park and while I was jumping my brains out I felt my right eye start to hurt  on the brow bone.  It continued to hurt that day and the next morning my eye was swollen shut.  I immediately called the Dermatologist and set an appointment for later in the week.  Obviously a swollen eye is not an big deal in the dermatologist community!  My eye kept getting more swollen and I kept blaming it on my Rosacia.  Everntually some of the kids in class started to get worried that something was wrong with my eye and asked if I was okay!  There was many a remedy and concoction applied throughout the week.
I expected going in to the doctor to get a new topical cream and a new script for some oral meds.  Umm, wrong!
It was a giant cyst that needed to be lanced open!  What the What!!!!
I mean I love all things that can be extracted but this was not what I was expecting!  After several shots to my face and some intricate slicing and squeezing this is what I came home looking like...
 My face is NOT this wide-silly camera!
Don't worry!  I rocked that band aid all day!  Took Luke to soccer practice, ate Rosa's and grocery shopped!  I think the cashier felt sorry for me and honored my expired coupon!
Oh, and Justin sent me this amazing get well!!

Random Luke sightings!!!

Captured on my iphone some random Luke sightings...
A little NASCAR sighting at Walmart!

 Luke's new family apparently!
 Field trip fun at the pond at school!
 Luke's 1st goal!  Best birthday gift to me ever!
 A bunch of silliness after church!
Looking cool and running errands with Mom!

Easter Weekend!

Ok, Easter was so long ago that thankfully I have some pictures or I would not remember a single thing about it! 
A cool thing that the school hosts is a teacher's kids Easter egg hunt after school!  I love this about my new school and how they value teacher's kids!  There were so many eggs that at one point most of the kids just sat down and started looking in eggs and if it was not "loot worthy", meaning held some money, they would just lay it back down.  Man, spoiled kids problems!

While we were at church the Easter bunny dropped by our house.  That sneaky guy somehow always gets into the house and makes a trail for Luke to follow!

Some cute, but rare photos of us with our most favorite treat!

Is it too late to wish everyone a Happy Easter?!

Luke's 6th birthday!

Luke had a BIG birthday week!  He's 6 so every 6 year old should celebrate for at least a week, right!
On his actual birthday, M signed up to be the Watch D.O.G. Dad at school, so Dad got to spend the whole day with the boy too!  He celebrated in class with cookies and chilled like a rockstar with Dad around the school!
On Saturday, we celebrated at Let's Jump!  This is the world's stinkiest, smells like feet, sweat hole of a birthday mecca!  A sweet co-worker made Luke his awesome Lego cake!  It was delish!!  Some friends from class and some friends outside of school made this a party to remember!  Luke had a blast putting on a show for everyone while opening gifts!

 Happy Birthday to a cool 6 year old!

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Where's the Baby?

I cannot believe that 6 years ago on March 21, 2007 my world was thrown upside down and changed forever!  My precious, sweet, curious, perfect baby boy entered my life.  I am amazed everyday at the joy I feel watching my baby grow into a young man. 
Every year the day before his birthday we celebrate by eating Chinese food, just like Mike and I did 6 years ago.  On his birthday we always look back at his baby book and replay the day.  I have so many wonderful memories of that day and its fun to recount that time when we had no idea what we were in store for.  For the past 6 years, Lucas Corgan Woods has taught me to be patient, selfless, nurturing, proactive, bold, and above all else how to be a Mom.
I love you to the moon and back my baby boy!

Here's what 6 has brought us:
Luke loves Monster Trucks, Lego's, school, friends, anything inappropriate (he's all boy!)
He has found a new sense of trying new foods and is loving salad and beef at the time!
He has started up soccer again and we are hoping he is less timid this season.
Over Spring Break he shot his first gun and thought it was ok, but took way to long to reload.
He loves to read and can read most books he chooses
He has recently started asking questions about Jesus, prompting Mike and I to start looking for a church.  He went this past week and LOVED it!
Favorite color:  magenta
Favorite food:  anything sweet
Favorite song:  Thrift Shop by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis (yes-super inappropriate)
Favorite show:  anything on Disney XD
Favorite game:  NASCAR Unleashed
Favorite subject in school:  Math and Science

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Be Still My Heart!

There is a countdown in my house.  Well by house I don't mean Mike and Luke, just me!
Tuesday is a very special day in my life.  No, not a birthday or anniversary or pay day....
  Yep, my boy JT has a new album dropping Tuesday, March 19th!  I cannot wait to put my antsy little fingers on it. I'm old school, which means I will buy the CD.  Something about reading all the lyrics and special thanks makes me feel more apart of the JT entourage!

I encourage you to stream FOR FREE this weekend on iTunes.  The album does not disappoint.  Until Tuesday I will dream of meeting my savvy crooner on the beaches of Miami, sipping Mojitos with the Kardashians and rehashing old quarrels with the cast of The Real Housewives of Miami. 

Love you to the Suit and Tie back,

Friday, March 15, 2013

Longhorn Style!

I was a bit skeptical at the beginning of the year that the grass could be greener on the other side...

Fast forward to March, 2013 of my first year at Sendera Ranch Elementary and I am having a blast!  Not only does this school value hard working in academics but values some hard work at playing as well!  Right up my alley!

Here is a picture montage of all the shenanigans the Longhorns have been up to this year...
Ropin' the Wind in First Grade

Peace, Love, and Longhorns

College Pride, It's Cool to Dress Alike, Getting the Team back together, and Bus fun!

We run together...

We save the day together!

Super Hero Cuties!  Those dudes behind us think so!

We will save the world-one pose at a time!
It felt only right to add him because he is responsible for A LOT of giggles during our planning meetings!

School pics


Spring Break 2013

Oh snap!  You can tell its break time for this teacher because I actually don't have a schedule or a to-do list and can sit down and "play" on the computer!
I am so thankful to have a job that has scheduled breaks or mental health weeks as I like to call them!

Enter The Woods/McCord/Gorrell family annual Spring Break trip.

The past couple of years we have traveled to Broken Bow, Oklahoma to spend some time "roughing it" or "glamping it" as it should be appropriately called.  This year we hit the jackpot with our cabin!  Huge and secluded and just right for our family!

To sum up the 4 day weekend here are some common phrases: plenty of game play, celebrating, gun shooting, small fish catching, hills of hiking, story telling, tears shed (mostly by me), wet pants scenarios (again, mostly by me!), cotton candy wins, late night crosswords, junk food comas, and all around good ole' fun!

I love this time so much and I don't think it will ever get old!  To spend time being unplugged and fancy free is beyond priceless and I can't wait to go again next year!
Here are some pics from our fabulous weekend...

Happy 6th birthday sweet boy!

Grandparent LOVE

Aunt and Uncle LOVE

Crazy bird on a train

Winner of the world's LARGEST bag of cotton candy evah!

He's quite the poser

Pyro seriousness